Inspiration But Like The Healthy Kind
I haven’t quite resolved my feelings on resolutions. I don’t know. I can’t decide. I love the idea of putting a mental (or physical) list together of all the things that, if completed, would bring me up to par with…perfection. But I also cringe at that list and the pressure it presents with it. It doesn’t have to be quite that dramatic, I understand, but even the process of coming up with which resolutions you’ll focus on this year is a process that requires you to take stock of what you’ve not accomplished, gained, lost, won, or acquired, no?
I just don’t know. I’ve not kicked off 2017 with a huge bang. I don’t usually do that, though.
How do you guys feel about resolutions? Are they helpful for you, or do they just make you feel hyperaware of what “needs” to be done but without the inspiration to get it done?
I’m not sure I’m deriving my inspiration at the moment from resolutions or set goals. Maybe I will once I ease into this new year. Right now you can find me drawing up some major inspo from a certain little girl I’m very fond of observing. I watch her so closely these days. Watching her talk, laugh, pretend, whisper, focus, lose patience, eat, drink, and sleep. I can’t get enough.
New pros and cons are presented with each stage of development as we know, and my favorite pro yet accompanies this toddler stage: Awe. I am inspired and in awe of how Isla moves through this world.
I am taking stock of the difference between the inspiration I’m drawing from this real, live sweet baby human I love so dearly vs. the pressure I’m known for confusing with inspiration. Do you know what I’m talking about? Like seeing who I perceive to be masters of self-care on social media toss a bath bomb into their tub followed up with a still shot of their toes poking out of the water followed by me thinking, “Well, that is what the ultimate self care is I guess” and then throwing my own bath bomb with dried lavender on it into my bath, all documented on my instagram stories of course, but remember 2 seconds into the experience I’m not really a bath girl. Not during the week. So I get out, and then the next morning I mistake the lavender buds I forgot to rinse out for maggots and have a heart attack.
In the same week there’s the kind of inspiration where I find out Isla is moving up to an older class at her school, receive confirmation she transitioned beautifully because she is so brave and amazing, and then I hold my ground on an issue I’m facing out in the world. One I wouldn’t usually be so insistent about. Could it be that subconsciously I took notes from Isla? I was just feeling extra brave and empowered, perhaps. But isn’t that how inspiration works? Like, the lavender maggot inspo was totally faux. The Isla inspo was totally legit.
I want to be aware of where I’m drawing inspiration from right now. It feels kind of crucial. They’re watching us, these children.
I want to open myself up to all the inspiration 2017 has to offer, but like the healthy kind. And maybe that means not feeling pressured to make resolutions. Or maybe it means making them at the end of February! Maybe I’ll ask Isla what she thinks.
In the meantime, I wanted to share this great article on self care I read today. Maybe it will resonate with you!
Cheers, you lovely readers. And happy new year!